


uhuhuhhuh saiouma bullshit

by hajimesbitch



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Angst, Drinking, First Kiss, Fluff, Ghosts, M/M, Ouma not Oma, Phantom Thief Oma Kokichi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:48:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27119800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hajimesbitch/pseuds/hajimesbitch
Summary: saiouma (fluff) one shots !!11!! none of them have very in depth story they just kinda vibe!!1!11 hi instagram followers youre elite ily
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	1. they r in love thanks

**Author's Note:**

> random saiouma things i write cause im s a d 11!!111! i have no idea how to tag this shit thanks ! i will not turn on caps lock ok bye!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> saiouma (fluff & angst only) one shots !!11!! none of them have very in depth story they just kinda vibe!!1!11 hi instagram followers youre elite ily

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have fun

Kokichi POV

luckily my boyfriend was accepting of my small group of teens and never had ill intent when trying to get us to stop our dumb pranks and of course as their leader i always got them to stop when my cute boyfriend asked - well id say about 99% of the time. sometimes it was just too fun to see him get so concerned and try to stop me when he knew he couldn't. 

for now i sat on our shared bed in our dorm room as i waited for him to arrive home and sit with him talking about how his day went, hearing him so passionate about whatever he would talk about tonight. it always put a smile on my face to see him so happy when he talked. 

as if to speak of the devil i heard the door knob being moved and the gentle creaking of the door being opened. his footsteps and breathing gentle and low, it was my favourite sound, especially when he was tired and laying on my chest, his face nuzzled in the crook of my neck. even though he was taller than me we still managed to fit each other like a puzzle. his breathing pattern never changed yet it was so beautiful when he’d carry me around the house with my head on his chest. the way his heart beat just a little faster when id try to get as close to him as possible, yet it still had a smooth and comforting beat, one of your favourite song that you could listen to for hours on end and wanted desperately to memorize, so you could hum it on a cold rainy day snuggled in your favourite warm blanket fresh out of the dryer. those days were always better with his real heartbeat next to me but being able to tap the smooth beat after hearing it so many times was good enough for me. the way his chest raised and fell so delicately when he was asleep, or when he laughed at some dumb joke i told, he’d always laugh at my jokes, the way his smile was genuine and bright. I loved it, I loved every part of him.

i felt the bed dip in the slightest bit and a hand brush over mine, soon resting and drawing small circles with its thumb, “hey love, you were spacing out again”, the words gentle and sweet just like every other part about him, his voice made me swoon every time i heard it.

“i guess i was, i was thinking about you again.” i let out a small sigh lying further back and sinking into the soft pillows of our bed.

“ouma-kun..” he started, his eyes shined in the dim light of our bedroom. “i love you.” he then slowly grabbed my face in his hands, cupping my cheeks with such a delicate touch, slowly pulling me in. the soft feeling of his lips touching mine, feeling the light blush the dusting my face as it warmed up feeling his touch against my skin. 

it felt like nothing else really mattered, it was just us, just the gentle feeling of his lips against his own, the feeling of his warm hands holding his face. saihara moved his face away the same blush on him as on myself. his face was always so soft, a smile visible on his lips. 

he lied down to rest his head on my chest. slowly i put a hand on his head, playing with his hair, i fell asleep with him in my arms, him safe,the sound of his gentle snoring putting me to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> h why r u still here


	2. oops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uhhh an alternate ending to the other oen lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it like 104 words its not long !!111!11

“ouma-kun…” he started but drifted off near the end, “i know you miss me, but you need to wake up my love.” 

it hit me, harder than anything else ever had, it was a dream, shuichi was still dead, he was still dead and it was all my fault he was.

i shot up, looking around the room, hoping to look and see my beloved saihara in my arms or next to me. it was hopeless, just like every night now. Saihara was dead, Saihara was dead and I so desperately wish i could’ve told him i loved him, at least one last time.


	3. uhhhh yeah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is where that warning thingy is actually important oops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Third person 

ouma was always known for getting himself in trouble, occasionally dragging saihara into it. but this night would be different, perhaps the last night the prankster decided to get himself in petty trouble with the wrong people. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“kokichi please, I understand you like the thrill but you can't keep doing this. i'm worried, you're going to get yourself injured soon.” Saihara spoke his voice gentle yet still firm on the point he was trying to make with the younger male.

“but shumai that's the whole fun ! the thrill, the rush of the chase, you can't take that away !!” kokichi whined as he always did when something didn't go his way, many would consider it bratty but saihara had grown fond of it.

“please, just for tonight, i dont think it's safe.” he tried, deep down saihara probably knew it was useless. one kokichi had his eyes set on something, there was no changing his mind.

“please shumai?” he gave him puppy eyes, something he knew the taller boy had a hard time saying no to.

a reluctant sigh was let out as the two boys walked down the street hand in hand, making their way down to a sketchier part of town, one Saihara had always hated, validly so yet kokichi loved causing trouble in this area.

the boys walked onto the road kokichis eyes closed, he was content as they walked, though sooner than later that blissful walk came to an end. the sound of a car screeching, the feeling of being shoved a little more forward than he would've liked, and lastly the terrible sound of a scream, blood curdling. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

when he came to rubbing his head a little bit he regained his balance and stood up looking around, it was dark and cold, but that was the least of his concerns cause in front of him laid his boyfriend. at first he hoped he was dreaming, maybe he hit his head too hard, yet it couldn't be considered a dream it was much more a nightmare. a terrible nightmare of his boyfriend dead, in front of him, covered in his own blood, a puddle around him though it looked dry now.

he knew it was too late, but he still grabbed his hands trying to find a pulse, begging whatever god that was out there to help him. he was cold, dropping the hand he was holding he stared, it was all he could do, he felt hopeless - cause he was, he couldn't bring back the dead no matter how much he wished he could. the cold feeling of shuichis frozen hand stuck on kokichis, the feeling won't go away, how it didn’t hold him, tighten around it, how it was cold opposite from shuichis warm hands that radiated heat along with the rest of his body.

it was all cold, time felt like it had stopped but not in a good way - not in the same way that time stopped the first time they kissed, time stopped in a way that made ouma feel numb.

he didn't hear the sirens of the police and ambulance, maybe he didn't want to, he wanted to believe it was just a nightmare, that he’d wake up in shuichis warm embrace like he was supposed to. but he knew, deep down somewhere, shuichi saihara was dead, and it was all kokichis fault. he wouldn't be able to ignore it this time. he had to face it, he was the cause of his boyfriend's death, the only person who seemed to care for him, dead right in front of him as he was dragged away. oh how he wished he could switch places with him, if only for a second he wished he had been paying attention to what was happening around him and maybe been able to push saihara out of the way instead of saihara pushing him.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

kokichi pov

i woke up in what i guessed was the hospital from the white walls to the low beeping noise, it drove me crazy. i hated that noise.

slowly remembering what had happened i shot up from my bed, trying to move but being held down by a few strings being attached to me. i screamed and shouted until a few nurses came running into my room clearly alarmed by the loud noises i was making.

“where's saihara ! where is he, tell me he's okay, please.” i wanted to sound like i had control over my body like i wasn't going to break down, i knew it was a lie, a fake act, i was desperate to find out he was okay, even though he wasn't going to be, and i already knew that.

“im sorry…” a nurse started a look of dread in her eyes telling me everything i needed to know.

slowly but harshly i choked out a sob, my breathing hitched and i couldn't see it was blurry. everything was blurry, as the scream saihara let out before he died, before he died for me. yet all i could do was sit here and cry, i didn't help him, im not sure i could’ve, but i hate myself for not trying.


	4. h they r at a party haha no kiss kiss for u

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> no kiss kiss for him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i already dont wanna upload chapters anymore

Third person

saihara walked down the hall, tracing his hand along the wall as he made his way to kaedes dorm. she held these parties often, it started as a way for him to get out of his shell but grew into a way to just hang out, the blue haired boy didn't mind getting out of the house to see his friends every once in a while that wasn't it. the only difference with this time is he had to spend time with the mentally draining kokichi. while kokichi wasn't a bad guy, he was just a lot and childish. saihara didn't mind those things not at all, at least not separately, apparently the short boy was able to make anyone tired in seconds.

He got to the door knocking out of instinct but knew it would be swung open as soon as kaede ‘felt’ someone was there, which he was correct about cause soon the door was opened and he was let in. 

“heyyy, shuichi you're latee,” her speech was already a little slurred. he guessed she had already started drinking, he wasn't surprised.

“hi kaede, i'm not late, im five minutes early actually.” that's how it usually was, shuichi got here early, helped out and left late to help clean before maki seriously killed her roommate.

“yeah sure,” he watched as she stumbled and fell into a blondes arms.

“sorry about her, i only gave her a little, who would've known she was such a lightweight.” the blonde sighed, moving kaede to the side and walking up to shuichi.

“oh yeah did no one tell you? we usually don't let her drink too much.” he tried to laugh but it came out more awkward than he wanted.

“mhm, nope no one was here when i got here, we totally f-”, shuichi cut her off with a dismissive wave shutting her up for just a little as he went to get kaede some water.

another knock was at the door and miu ran to it, “kokichi that better be you or lord help me.”

“yeah slut its me, open the fucking door.” a voice was heard, high pitch and what shuichi thought was out of character of the short male who was at the door along with the two boys he saw at the mall and another one.

“ugh you brought the other whores with you?” miu groaned letting them all in.

“miu you begged us to come, you got on your knees for kokichi,” a tall male with green hair said sitting down on one of the seats.

“yeah for kokichi, hes the life of every party we go to.” miu said and the short boy grinned

“fuck yeah i am.” still grinning the shorter boy laughed. “shumai, you're here! i missed you so dearly.” 

“mhm i saw you a few days ago,” shuichi said, still taking care of a slightly drunk kaede.

“yeah and those were the worst days of my life, i couldn't stop thinking of you.” the short boy smiled, a little more genuine, wrapping shuichi in a tight hug.

“can you stop being gay for three seconds kokichi? we’re all here too,” a tired but still loud voice said from behind them.

“i dont care about you guys anymore, i have shumai now,” sticking a tongue out to kaito still not letting go of shuichi.

“hey kokichi, can you let go of me please?” shuichi asked clearly uncomfortable, which kokichi happily complied, letting go of him instead sitting on the arm rest next to him, which shucihi seemed a lot more comfortable with. muttering a small thank which kokichi gave a happy grin to.

“anywaysssss, whore how many people are coming or can i get drunk now?” kokichi asked, pointing at miu.

“well i invited a few more people, maki should be coming, she's kaedes roommate, its nothing too big, maybe sixteen people max?” miu answered counting on her fingers as she did so kokichi mocking her for.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

sometime passed, shuichi, kiibo, tsumugi, ryoma, gonta, maki, kirumi, korekiyo and tenko were all perfectly sober maybe one or two drinks but still well enough to drive if anyone got hurt. kokichi, rantaro and kaito had all had a drinking contest that kokichi won, him tipsy but still needed an eye on him, kaito was gone a surprising lightweight, and rantaro was buzzed but probably could be sober within an hour or two. kaede, himiko, angie and miu were also gone, two of them passed out on top of each other on the floor, the other two coughing and laughing a little too much.

“taroooo, i wanna go to shumai you're boring.” kokichi groaned, he was sitting next to rantaro on the counter rantaro on a seat. 

“if he tells you to leave him alone come back here, try not to pester him too much please.” rantaro said knowing it was a bad idea but let him go anyway.

“shumaiii,” he slurred his speech a little more than he needed to.

“hey kokichi, do you need something?” shuichi asked, he was sitting next to a blacked out kaede who was on the floor, her head in his slap for support.

“oh. are you two a thing?” kokichi asked, ignoring the other blonde clearly just as blacked out on kaedes chest.

“us? no, we’re just good friends, im making sure her neck doesn't cramp, she doesn't need to be in more pain than when she wakes up with a hangover,” saihara explained quickly fixing the misunderstanding.

kokichi glanced over to his friends, spotting all of them in the dimly lit room, kiibo was letting kaito sleep on his shoulder, also probably so his neck doesn't hurt, rantaro had a bottle of something or another in his hand, someone he knew a little less, gonta, was talking with a short red haired girl, he was happy to know one of them wasnt being dumb even if he knew him the least, lastly miu asleep on kaedes chest.

he shrugged, “all my friends seem to be doing okay i think.”

“kaede does this all the time, she always blacks out super early,” he laughed, a lot more naturally than earlier.

“miu and kaito do that too, they're super light weights, rantaro is usually drunk but can still walk by the end of most of these types of nights.” kokichi sighed seeing the long haired boy walk up to rantaro content with what his friends were doing. he focused on shuichi now.

“what about you and the grey haired boy, kiibo i think?” shuichi asked, letting kokichi talk some more.

“i never get too drunk, me or kiiboy usually drive home, if were out that is, ill be sober by the time we leave. i don't like hangovers so i prefer to just watch my idiots get in trouble.” a small but fond smile was on his face while talking about them, “i couldn't tell you why kiibo doesn't get drunk, he's never been one to tho, since i've known him, given we couldn't legally drink at that time, miu still managed sometimes.”

“you've never asked why?”

“I love to pry but im kinda bad at comforting, wouldn't wanna get into something i can't comfort.”

kokichi was a honest drunk, so he never drank much, even now only tipsy but he felt like talking to saihara he was safe, so he didn't mind opening up, even just the smallest bit, of course he wouldn't let too much out, that wasn't a good idea.

“yeah i get it, i'm not super good at comforting either.”

“not surprised.”

“what does that mean?”

“that i'm not surprised, duh.”

“thanks sherlock.”

“nuh uh, aren't you the detective?”

another laugh, “i suppose you're right.”

“obviously, i’m always right, except for when I'm wrong, those times I'm not right.”

“i think that's how it is for everyone.”

“but i'm almost always right, im special, can't remember one time i was wrong about something.”

“right now?”

“that's not being wrong it's lying, geez shumai.”

“that's technically being wrong.”

“i guess, but it was actually yesterday,i told miu this party would be boring, a certain detective has been entertaining so far.”

“would that be me?”

“hopefully, you know another detective in the room?”

shuichi pointed to the tv, “actually yeah.”

“okay smartass.”

“you're one to talk.”

“mhm, i guess.”

the conversation continued smoothly, they talked and laughed but kokichi didn't open up much more except for the occasional small story about him and his friends, in return for one about shuichi or his friends.

“shumaiii”

“yeah?”

“how far is your dorm?”

“about a four minutes walk. why?”

“can i crash at your place?”

“why you're close too you know.”

“yeah but i'm tired, plus im just dying to see what my beloved lives like.”

“sure i guess, i only have one bed…”

“oh, its okay, we can share, ill say no homo, promise.”

“youre difficult to say no to.”

“i know its a skill.”

“sure, you can come over, tell your roommate first, i dont want the police at my door.”

“alright, wait for me pleaseee?”

“you dont know my dorm number i cant leave without you.”

“right, five seconds!”

“tarooooooooooooooooooooooooo,” he called out looking for the green haired male.

“yeah whats up kichi?” his words were slurred and he had a slight blush but nothing too bad.

“wheres the other guy you hang around with?” kokichi asked looking around for korekiyo.

“mmm he was gonna take me home soon, he went to the bathroom right now.” rantaro answered pointing to a room not too far.

“alright make it home safe im going home with shumai, to his dorm, im not dead.” he said while writing on a small sticky note and texting rantaros phone. “dont check that its me i need you to see it when you wake up.”

“alright, have fun but not too much.” rantaro laughed, he was more playful and laid back when drunk.

“mhm you too stay safe taro.” kokichi said, skipping to the exit where shuichi was waiting.

“ready to go?”

“yessir !”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

kokichi pov

i woke up a lot warmer than i was used to, i wasn't going to complain it was a comforting feeling, i slowly opened my eyes to see a colour that was nowhere in my room, a dark blue, dark blue, dark blue, where would i be- saihara, saihara always wears dark blue, what am i doing with saihara? I was at a party? i was at a party with saihara, fuck. i slowly moved my hands down my body making sure everything was still there. i let out a sigh moving away from him as gently as i could not waking him up until I was on the other side of the bed.

i looked him up and down once, his eye lashes were long, and i had been laying on his chest earlier, it was soft, i stifled a laugh at the thought.

“morning.” shuichi said groggily, slowly sitting up rubbing his eyes like a movie's main character.

“oh shit sorry did i wake you up?” i asked, quickly sitting up too.

“no worries, im a light sleeper i wouldn't have stayed asleep much longer anyways,” he said looking at the clock 6:30 it read, not too bad.

“that's good to know i didn't wake you up at like three in the morning that would have sucked,” i groaned, flopping back onto his pillows, they were really soft.

“can you cook? wanna make breakfast with me? cooking is usually funner with someone else.” he asked standing up, i got a full view of his body, he was really pretty, and tall.

“that sounds fun lets do it.” i smiled at him standing up, i was wearing the clothes from last night, gross.

the two boys made breakfast and enjoyed the rest of the day, thankfully rantaro didnt call the police and only texted to make sure kokichi didn't die or as he said the night before ‘have too much fun’.


	5. gone as a ghost should be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this one is based off ghosting !! i really like basing my writing off songs and mother mother slaps so here we are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowowow look i updated it <3

kokichi ouma was dead. there was no denying that fact, but he did wish he could have held shuichi one more time, one more time without him just getting cold and getting a blanket. god it sucked when shuichi just got a blanket instead of holding him back.

how did the small boy die? he couldn't really recall to be honest. he hoped it was something entertaining at least. something not boring.

what he did know was that he needed to leave shuichi alone. he assumed he was starting to scare the boy.

since it was ouma, he had been wearing a white sheet the whole time ‘haunting’ shuchi, he doesnt think it should have such a dumb word since he was doing it out of love. protecting and sometimes pranking the tall boy, but there was never ill intent - of course, since he had no grudges to hold.

but shuichi seemed more paranoid, one edge and scared to go home. kokichi knew it was his fault. so he took off his sheet, folded it and wrote a small note that read ‘i remember the days when i'd make you oh-so afraid and this is why i have decided to leave your house and home un-haunted, you don't need poltergeists for sidekicks. you don't need treats you don't need tricks and you don't need me. -love (ghost) kokichi. to my beloved (human) shumai.’ 

he smiled to himself, returning to his grave. leaving shuichi saihara, ghost free.


	6. kiss kiss for him :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> teehee they can kiss now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)

third person

a thief who has never been caught or even seen. thats what kokichi was, the self proclaimed best thief in the world. so the logical thing to think is that he wouldnt fall in love, well he thought that too for multiple years of his stealing ‘legacy’. and that wouldve been true, until he saw him. the tall, dark haired detective, or the person who kokichi fell in love with. why would someone as great as himself fall in love with the detective trying to catch him? it was just that, he had been chasing kokichi for nearly 7 months now. 7 months and yet he still hasnt been able to fully catch and turn in kokichi.

he had come the closest, he has also come closest to demasking kokichi. which any phantom thief could tell you was the biggest adrenaline rush out of them all, even nearly being captured didnt come close to how he felt when the detective had nearly taken off his half cown mask. he wasnt the proudest of how he got himself out of the situation but it had worked out for the better. 

———————————————————————————————————————

shuichi held kokichis arm tight not letting go, the smaller boy wiggled and squirmed trying to get out of his grasp but he hadnt let go.

they where standing on the roof of a building next to the art auction kokichi had just stolen from, i was definitely not his proudest heist anyone could tell you that. he had nearly gotten caught by police before even seeing his beloved detective that night.

“ive finally caught you, thief.” the detective huffed, out fo breath from the chase.

“it would seem you have my beloved, what a shame i was hoping we couldve had more fun,” kokkichi sighed, looking at the back of his hand that had checkered nail pollish done by one of the youngest members of dice, “i must say, you holding me has been appreciated but i have to ask you to let go.”

“im afraid i cant do that,” he said gripping his arm just a little tighter, “its been 7 months of chasing you, id say we had more than enough ‘fun’.”

“awwwww is my beloved detective bored of chasing me? i had hoped i was the least bit enteraining.” he said doing a small spin, the best he could with his arm being held.

“i wouldnt say entertaining but you did put up a good chase.” he paused thinking of what to say next “though that comes to an end now, you can demask yourself or ill do it for you.”

ouma walked up to the tall male closing the distance between the two nearly touching noses. he let out a small hum “i was hoping you could, but i would like to try something first if its not too much to ask. im going to be locked away for so long id like to do this before that.”

saihara let out a reluctant sigh, “ if i can keep your arm in my hand alright, and on this roof only.” 

getting the answer he wanted ouma leaned in a little closer putting his free hand on the detectives face and locking lips with him. out of shock the he had let go of the small boys hand, “bye beloved ! thank you for the kiss, ill be sure to give it back next time we meet !” he let out a laugh as he jumped off the side of the building clinging to a rope that he had left earlier.

———————————————————————————————————————

the detective and thief had met again, only this time not on one of oumas hiests instead at a party, hosted by kaede that rantaro had dragged kokichi to, he was so going to get back at him for dragging him here. this could ruin his whole life, all for a stupid bottle of grape panta.

kokichi made sure to try to avoid him all night, doing so until about 10pm. there was a bump against his shoulder and a sudden coldness going down his arm. 

“oh no, im so sorry, i really didnt mean to” a familiar voice was clearly panicking behind him, it couldve have been miu, she was too vulgar, rantaro was probably high and wouldnt care if he spilled something on ouma, and kaede had a much higher pitched voice. he tunred arund to see the one person he was dreading to talk to all night.

he put on his biggest grin, “ its super duper okay~ this stain gonna be annoying though, i know !! you can repay me with your llife.” 

“how about instead of my life i give you my jacket and ask kaede to wash your shirt?” saihara laughed with a hand on his neck.

“hmmm i guess that would be suitable, cmon i wanna go change with you!!” kokichi said dragging saihara near the bathroom.

saihara took off his jacket offering it to ouma, “here, ill wait out here then we can go give your shirt to kaede.”

“awww youre not coming with me?” kokichi whined grabbing the jacket and leaving to the bathroom.

he walked out the jacket obviously too big on him. “lets go give kaede your shirt.”

they had hung out for the rest of the night kokichi slowly opening up a little more, forgetting saihara would be chasing him in the next few days. near the end of the night both were a little bit tipsy and kokichi had decided to leave early having rantaro drive him home. 

“bye bye shumai!!” he said pressing a short kiss against his lips, mumbling “i did promise i’d give it back next time we meet.”

a shocked look passed over saiharas face but ouma ran out before he could say anything to him.

**Author's Note:**

> why did u read this all wtf anyways !1!11 hope you liked my bad writing lol,,,,


End file.
